the road on

she was happy for a while, then she couldn't stop crying because they had both changed and he didn't love her in the same way anymore. the one thing she wanted to change to make her happy again was the one thing that was killing her inside. day by day she forgot who she was. being herself wasn't joyous and she needed someone else to make her feel better. but he wanted out and had had enough. could you blame him. looking back, i don't. when they finally did part i felt even worse than before. but, year by year, month by month, then day by day it became easier. when it felt ok she thought she would make contact. bad idea - one thing she wanted was to still be friends but he was still bitter and had moved on. so now i leave it and have nothing to do with it. i was once loved like that but it doesn't matter anymore. i have grown in so many ways and i am so much happier. plus, i realised that i have people around me who love me more than anything in the world. some are near here in meeka, and others are 800km's away but i feel closer than ever to you - family and friends.
so here i go, continuing on my journey to self discovery. just when you thought you have walked all the paths and you are happy, there is still more to learn. and it is the best feeling in the world. the only regret i have is not letting us go earlier so we could go on our separate ways to happiness. sorry to you and to myself.

and ang and liz, thanks for your call last night. i miss you guys like all hell (ang i miss you a million angels & liz i miss you a million lillies) and can't wait to hang out ALL the time. just six months to go. thinking of you guys always.