what's going on in perth
went shopping for front doors yesterday. that's always exciting - i never new how many different measurements and bits and bops there were when organising to get one put on. and my tenants should be out of my house very soon. yay!
tomorrow nikki is getting married and i finally get to meet luke. i can't wait. thanks for shopping yesterday liz. i was only hoping to get one top - but now i have 2 tops, jewellery and shoes lol
to my best friends, you know the conversation i am resisting and i know i am too. if i can keep putting it off i will and i know it aint working for me. just scared i suppose. well this is what i wrote the other night.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
I am clear that i need to lose weight for my own health - and i think i'm doing a good job keeping to it this time. but i'm also clear that i want to lose it for a different reason. same old same old, if i can look good someone might love me (but it's the inside that counts right, i know i know but i don't really know do i).
the same story runs through my head (and boy is it a dumb story - the gayest of all) that no-one would want to be with me because of how i have been in the past. and this is my way of punishing myself at thinking i can be happy too. i was a bitch to shaun towards the end because i thought "he didn't really want me" and i felt like a dirty ho for sleeping with nick because why was i so stupid to have not seen the obvious signs that he wasn't reall interested and how could someone be so cruel as to spread rumours around a small town. it was all a joke and talked about all over town. where was my god damn intuition then huh? or am i being too hard on myself. why can't i move past this and be happy and accept that i could find someone in the near foreseeble future. do i want it so much that i'm not willing to step forward and move on. I DON'T KNOW! and i'm sick of it. so guys, that's my racket for tonight and you probably already knew anyhow. told you it was a gay story :P but even though i seem to enjoy rewriting it everyday, it's getting kinda boring.
tomorrow nikki is getting married and i finally get to meet luke. i can't wait. thanks for shopping yesterday liz. i was only hoping to get one top - but now i have 2 tops, jewellery and shoes lol
to my best friends, you know the conversation i am resisting and i know i am too. if i can keep putting it off i will and i know it aint working for me. just scared i suppose. well this is what i wrote the other night.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
I am clear that i need to lose weight for my own health - and i think i'm doing a good job keeping to it this time. but i'm also clear that i want to lose it for a different reason. same old same old, if i can look good someone might love me (but it's the inside that counts right, i know i know but i don't really know do i).
the same story runs through my head (and boy is it a dumb story - the gayest of all) that no-one would want to be with me because of how i have been in the past. and this is my way of punishing myself at thinking i can be happy too. i was a bitch to shaun towards the end because i thought "he didn't really want me" and i felt like a dirty ho for sleeping with nick because why was i so stupid to have not seen the obvious signs that he wasn't reall interested and how could someone be so cruel as to spread rumours around a small town. it was all a joke and talked about all over town. where was my god damn intuition then huh? or am i being too hard on myself. why can't i move past this and be happy and accept that i could find someone in the near foreseeble future. do i want it so much that i'm not willing to step forward and move on. I DON'T KNOW! and i'm sick of it. so guys, that's my racket for tonight and you probably already knew anyhow. told you it was a gay story :P but even though i seem to enjoy rewriting it everyday, it's getting kinda boring.
posted by carls at
7:04 PM
2 Comments:
You know, one of your friends in perth quite likes you. And, is also aware that you like him. Maybe, when you next see him, you will work it out. just remember though. He might be fooling around at present, but will be here when you move back down from meeka.
there is a rather large hint in this message, if you can read cryptically.
By
Anonymous, at 10:38 AM
we'll speak soon dude :)
By
carls, at 10:37 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home